People-pleasing doesn’t please yourself

In our society people are expected to fit in, to comply. 

Basically, to be like everyone else. 

Sameness is king.

You are not supposed to rock the boat. 

Critical thinking is only marginally appreciated.

You are conditioned to especially be kind and approving of your parents, teachers and bosses.

That is why people-pleasing has become the standard.

People-pleasing means that you always say yes to others, that you are always meeting expectations.

You don’t have the courage to say no, or to ask critical questions.

On the outside you always appear to be happy and that you like to follow orders.

 

On the inside, you are torn apart.

You suppress your own beliefs and opinions.

You never give priority to your own needs.

You feel pain, but ignore it.

You feel stressed out and tired.

That is because the suppression of your own needs costs a lot of energy.

The lack of fulfillment makes you unhappy.

 

You feel that you have to continue people-pleasing, otherwise you will be in trouble.

That the bosses will complain about you, or that people won’t like you.

If you continue with people-pleasing, you will lose the game.

Sooner or later, your body will give up and diseases will emerge.

Mental illness becomes the default, like burnout, or depression.

Or worse.

 

There is only one way out.

Stop people-pleasing.

Listen and cater to your own needs.

And you will be surprised that you will survive this new approach.

That you won’t get fired or lose customers.

The opposite is true.

You will be appreciated more as people value authentic people and authentic points of view.

 

Give yourself this gift for the new year.

Accept who you are and show the world your uniqueness.

You will be amazed by how much more you are appreciated.